Lelouch, the Film Reviewer
by Windrises
Summary: Lelouch tries to get people to talk about opinions with fairness and respect.


Notes: Code Geass is an anime that was done by Sunrise and is based on a manga. This story is dedicated to Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, two of the greatest film reviewers of all time.

Lelouch Lamperouge and C. C. were walking out of the movie theater. They watched the second Mr. Stupid film. Lelouch was excited watching a whole film of repetitive jokes and slapstick. C. C. wasn't very impressed by the film, but she tried to hide her dislike for it to please Lelouch.

Lelouch said, "That was such a good film." C. C. didn't agree, but she was nice enough to nod.

Lelouch said, "I'm going to see what the film critics thought of it." He found out that the film only had twenty percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Lelouch asked, "Why would the critics hate such a smart film?"

C. C. answered, "I guess they wanted a more complex story and jokes."

Lelouch said, "I'm going to find out what's going on." He played a clip of one of the film reviews.

The film reviewer said, "The second Mr. Stupid film has even more stupidity than the first film. The plot was a piece of trash, the acting was weak, and the jokes absolutely sucked! A three year old kitten could make a better film than this. Don't see this film. It's one of the most unappealing films of the year!"

Lelouch sighed and said, "Film reviewers aren't as good as they were in the 1970s through the 1990s."

C. C. asked, "How would you know? You weren't even alive back then."

Lelouch said, "I binge watch film reviews more often than I watch film reviews. Film reviews back then were classy, fair, and charming. Modern film reviewers have been unfairly hating on good films."

C. C. replied, "It's not a big deal honey."

Lelouch could tell that C. C. lacked the passion for film reviews that he did. It made sense, because watching film reviews wasn't something that C. C. regularly did.

The next morning Lelouch calmly walked to the living room. C. C. was on the couch so Lelouch sat next to her and kissed her on the hand. C. C. said, "I'm flattered, but I know that you have a scheme."

Lelouch tried to sound mature while replying, "It's not a scheme. I've decided to become a film reviewer."

C. C. raised her eyebrows and asked, "Why?"

Lelouch answered, "Film reviews haven't been as respectful as they were back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. I'm going to change things up by being the best film reviewer of the decade."

C. C. asked, "What's the point of doing this?"

Lelouch answered, "A lot of hard working film directors, actors, actresses, and writers put tons of effort into each film they make. However if they make a film that doesn't reach the high standards of film critics the hard workers get called lazy and talentless. I'm going to try to find the goodness that's in the films that critics reject. I want you to join me."

C. C. asked, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch answered, "I want you to be my co-host." Lelouch held up his hand.

C. C. gently held Lelouch's hand and said, "Okay."

Lelouch replied, "Diethard let me borrow his news camera so we can film some great reviews."

Lelouch started recording himself and C. C. The two of them sat on the couch so they could talk about the second Mr. Stupid film. Lelouch said, "Greetings YouTube. I'm Lelouch Lamperoue."

C. C. replied, "And my name's a secret. You can simply call me C. C."

Lelouch acted excited while saying, "We're here to talk about the second Mr. Stupid film. This film is really good. The jokes are so funny, the main character is so witty, and the climax was captivating. What did you think of this special film?"

C. C. wasn't sure about what she should do. If she pointed out her problems with the film Lelouch might get mad. However if she lied about the film being clever thousands of people might feel tempted to see it. She nervously said, "This film isn't very good. The plot is just an excuse for the same type of bad jokes and slapstick that the first film had. The running jokes of Mr. Stupid using the word me instead of I and leaving out words in sentences is super tiresome."

Lelouch asked, "How could you say such cruel things? You're ruining the whole point of why I became a film reviewer."

C. C. replied, "I'm sorry honey, but I only tolerated the film because of you."

Lelouch stubbornly said, "The plot was pretty good."

C. C. replied, "Half of the film was Mr. Stupid doing slapstick in a store's parking lot. Plus Mr. Stupid is an obvious ripoff of Rowan Atkinson's character from Rat Race."

Lelouch stubbornly responded, "Mr. Stupid's creative."

C. C. said, "I love you so I don't want to argue over a stupid film."

Lelouch replied, "I love you too and that's fair enough. I'll just post this review so we can end any arguing we may have done." Lelouch stopped recording and posted the review.

A few days later Lelouch got a call from Diethard Ried. Lelouch talked in his Zero voice, because Diethard didn't know his secret identity. Zero said, "What's going on?"

Diethard replied, "Your film review got plenty of views of YouTube. I haven't been that proud of you in recent months, but this was well done."

Zero said, "But C. C. and I argued about the quality of the film."

Diethard responded, "That helped you get more views. People like others who argue like crazy. It's really entertaining."

Zero said, "I don't want to resort to arguing with my girlfriend to get views from people. The whole reason that I became a film reviewer was to stop dumb arguments."

Diethard replied, "If you want to have a successful career as a film reviewer you need to make fun of films as much as possible."

Zero said, "I want to be respectful to filmmakers."

Diethard replied, "Then you're a hopeless case."

Lelouch walked up to C. C. and said, "Our film review was popular with, because we argued."

C. C. replied, "How stupid."

Lelouch smiled and said, "We were reviewing a Mr. Stupid film so that makes sense."

C. C. folded her arms and replied, "I love you more than anybody or anything so I'm not going to ruin our relationship by arguing about films with you."

Lelouch responded, "Don't worry. I don't want to argue either. I have a different type of review for us to make."

C. C. asked, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch answered, "I scheduled us to do a speech about film reviews in front of an audience. I'll have to wear my Zero costume so Diethard doesn't find out who I am."

C. C. asked, "What will our speech be about?"

Lelouch answered, "A big topic."

A few days later Lelouch, dressed as Zero, and C. C. went to a giant arena to talk about films. Diethard was broadcasting the event.

Zero said, "During the 70s, 80s, and 90s reviewing films was a respectful and mature job. Siskel and Ebert brought a special type of magic to reviewing films that will likely never be topped. However modern film reviewers have been a little too hard on films."

C. C. replied, "There are a lot of films that have been called stupid. Although these films aren't that good resorting to insulting the people that made it is a little too much."

Zero said, "I'm guilty of having some controversial opinions on films. For example, I like The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure."

One of the crowd members said, "You're a big baby for liking that film."

Zero pointed to the crowd member and said, "These insults need to stop. It's okay to dislike a film. For example, I think that most Disney films are bad films, but I hold no ill will towards the people who made it."

A different crowd member replied, "You're an idiot for not liking that film."

C. C. said, "Insulting people who don't like films that you like is also wrong."

Zero said, "The cast and crew of the George Clooney Batman film received decades of hatred and insults, but they didn't deserve it. I personally think that the film is fun. You're allowed to think it's bad, but mocking the people who put months of effort into trying to make a fun Summer blockbuster is wrong."

One crowd member asked, "Are there any other dumb opinions you want to share?"

Zero answered, "I thought that The Last Airbender was a really good film."

A quick tempered crowd member replied, "How dare he love that film. Lets throw our food and drinks at him." The crowd started throwing pizza, popcorn, water, and soda at Zero. C. C. grabbed the pizza and ate it.

Diethard turned off the broadcast and said, "I think you'll lose respect from a lot of fans, but lots of people will watch and talk about this. Well done."

Zero replied, "I guess I should say thanks."

C. C. put her arm around Zero and said, "I'm sorry that you didn't get your message across darling."

Zero replied, "I did get my message across. The crowd didn't like it, but I hope that things change."

C. C. said, "I have a different opinion from you on most films, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you dearly."

Lelouch smiled and replied, "I love you dearly too. I hope that someday opinions stop becoming an excuse for cheap arguments." Lelouch walked across a puddle of rain while saying, "I look forward to a day where opinions are like balloons."

C. C. asked, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch answered, "Balloons float in the sky to freedom. I want peoples' opinions to float in the sky with the same kind of respect."

C. C. smiled and said, "Good luck on your big balloon adventure."

Lelouch and C. C. held hands while saying, "I love you so much."

C. C. smiled and replied, "I love you too." Lelouch and C. C. didn't agree when it came to films, but they agreed that they loved each other anyways.


End file.
